where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
