a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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