can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
