Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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