We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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