remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
