Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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