if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
