whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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