fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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