just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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