Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
