isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize