im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
you didnt know i had herpes?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
