So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
