if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
