I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
