I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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