I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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