Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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