I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
