he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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