And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
