Will you blow on my dice?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
