I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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