Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
