This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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