is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize