Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
