the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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