this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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