i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
