Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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