He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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