I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
