No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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