found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
