I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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