Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
