Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
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