the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
