idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
