We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
