Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
