thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
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