OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
the liver wants what the liver wants
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
How does it feel to date your dad?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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