I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
