She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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