No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Success! We fucked roommates!
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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