My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
