I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
