Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
did i walk over a car last night?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Randomize
