My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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