This is not my ceiling
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
