Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I don't deserve a penis
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
