well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
No subtext here. People are naked.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
