I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
