I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
