my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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