I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
