U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
