I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Less talking, more tequila
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
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