Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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